Meeting the parents

The dreaded meeting of the parents. Open class. Three open classes to be precise.

Today I had my first open classes at Wonderland. The time when parents get a completely unrealistic and airbrushed view of their little angels at work. Work that they have been rehearsing and learning off by heart for the last two weeks. After the lesson is over, the parents all have a meeting with the principal and we are ‘invited’ to talk to them for a few minutes and tell them what we think of the class. Although I’m pretty sure if I told some of those parents what I really think of their darling children I’d be trawling the Job Centre website instead of writing this.

The first one, Oak Class (my little angels!), went predictably without a hitch. At least, until after the class was over. I’d just had my meeting with the parents (cue the inevitable ‘how old are you?‘ and ensuing gasps) and we had a few minutes left until the next class started so, as you do, we decided we’d play ‘choo choo train’. Fairly self explanatory, we all choo choo around the school corridors pretending to be a train picking up passengers. All was going well until we had a little choo choo collision and one of the boys turned to me with blood pouring (yes, pouring) out of his mouth and a big gap where his tooth should have been. I went into utter panic, imagining his mum coming out of the meeting and discovering that I had broken her son’s face. Fortunately by the time they had finished I had managed to wad some cotton wool where the tooth should have been and mopped up all the blood so I think I got away with it. And he did say it had been wobbly for a while.

The second one this afternoon was pretty dull really after that. Out of all my classes this one has the least English and the parents don’t speak English at all so I was tempted to just talk utter rubbish to see if anyone noticed but I decided against it. It was also the one with the terrible twins so I didn’t want to do anything that could possibly spark another tantrum.

Two down, one more tomorrow morning, and then I can breathe a big sigh of relief. Until we do it all over again in three months time…

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