You know you live in Korea when…

1. Kimchi comes as standard with every meal, even fried chicken or pizza.

2. It’s not unusual to see an 80 year old man playing with his iPad (or more likely his Samsung Galaxy tab) on the subway.

3. Likewise, seeing your 7 year old students with iPhones is not unusual either.

4. You forget how to use a knife and fork.

5. Going out for coffee costs more than going out for dinner.

6. You bow to everyone when you meet them, even fellow waygookin.

7. You use scissors to cut your food.

8. It’s perfectly normal to carry toilet roll around in your handbag.

9. Traffic lights don’t apply to drivers turning right. Even if there’s a pedestrian crossing.

10. The concept of personal space no longer exists.

11. You can’t remember the last time you saw a red car, a yellow car, or a blue car, in fact any car that isn’t black, white or silver.

12. You’ve realised that there’s no point trying to get the kids to stop saying ‘so-so’ in answer to everything.

13. You start to speak Konglish (usually just adding -uh to an English word, like bus-uh, or Homeplus-uh)

14. Being asked what your blood type is, and then being given an assessment of your personality, is not uncommon.

15. You find yourself absentmindedly humming the subway song.

16. You regularly get soaked when brushing your teeth, having forgotten to change the tap from the shower setting.

17. Seeing teenage boys sitting on each other’s knees on the subway no longer seems strange.

18. You can use a unisex bathroom and think nothing of it. Even if there’s a urinal.

19. You no longer feel concerned about the group of 9-year olds eating instant noodles in your local mini-mart at 10pm on a Sunday night.

20. You can use a squatter.

21. You know not to use a red marker pen when writing a kid’s name on the board.

22. You’re no longer confused in the elevator when the fourth floor button is replaced with an ‘F’.

23. You automatically cover your mouth when you laugh.

24. It’s near impossible to find a birthday card.

25. Seat belt? What seat belt?

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