“Teacher, you were eaten by a crocodile?”

Another day at school, another gem from my elementary students. Today one little bright spark asked me, in all sincerity, if I had been eaten by a prehistoric crocodile. 110 million years ago.

We were talking about fossils, and in the book was an article about a huge crocodile fossil, found in South America. That should have been her first clue right there; I’m very clearly not from South America. Secondly, the fossil dated from 110 million years ago (I’m trying not to take that bit as an insult).

The book went on to explain that the crocodile was 21 feet long, and its jaw alone measured 5 feet. The students didn’t really understand how long 5 feet actually was, so I told them that as I am just over 5 feet tall, the length of the crocodile’s jaw was the same as my height.

That was when I noticed one kid staring at me with a mixture of confusion and concern. “Teacher, you were eaten by a crocodile?”.

I made the rookie mistake of responding with sarcasm. “Yes. Yes, I was”. I instantly regretted it as her expression changed from confused to horrified.

“Teacher, did it hurt?”

Oh. My. God.

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